The "Ask"

Sometimes it is really hard to feel inspired to write about anything when you are laying in your bed staring at the same four walls because you are in the midst of bed rest, or you are way too nauseas to even think about trying to type something, or it is blazing hot and all you want to do is stick your head in the freezer every few minutes to try to have even a smidgen of relief.  Yes, I do stick my head in our freezer multiple times a day right now because it is unbearably hot.

You would think with all this time I had to lay around and think, process, and analyze I would be teeming with different ideas to write about, but to be perfectly honest; I am kind of at a loss and have not felt so inspired of late.  So instead, I will write about what I have known best these last two months.  Needing help!

 Chilling with Gavin during bed rest.

Chilling with Gavin during bed rest.

 

2016 has been the year of being bed-ridden.  I am usually a really healthy person; and yet, this year has proven otherwise.  Starting out with Dengue Fever for most of February, and then debilitating nausea and migraines from my pregnancy starting in May, to complete bed rest in June.  I have had to learn firsthand and the hard way what it really means to ask for help. 

I am convinced it is way easier to give than get help, and not only get but to have to go through the motions of the dreaded “ask”.  Especially when you are right in the middle of hosting summer teams, when all the kids are out of school, and you know everyone is running around busy, busy, busy.  You feel like you are being a nuisance,  an inconvenience, and definitely putting people out.  Which is usually the lies we just like to tell ourselves, the untruths we like to cling to a little too tightly. 

 - BOB DYLAN -

- BOB DYLAN -

The reality is, the overwhelming majority of the time, people are more than willing to help and feel honored when you ask them.  And my friends, teammates , and family members have been no exception to this over the past two months! The “ask” is really not about the other people that you are asking at all.  Honestly, I have realized it is more an “ask” of myself,; an “ask" of: Am I willing to put aside my pride?  Am I willing to humble myself and say…”You know what right now life is really really hard, and I cannot do it all, my husband cannot do it all, we need help!” 

It is never easy to feel needy, to feel helpless, to be at the mercy of others.  Yet, it is essential to understanding how much we need others, how much we need community, how much we need to lean on and support each other.   Because asking for help is about learning to be courageous, it is about being vulnerable and honest with yourself.  Which sometimes (or most of the time), ourselves are the hardest people to be completely truthful and transparent with!  Let's be honest, humanity is really not humanity without the need to need. Without that innate "need" we are just drones.   Because we need to learn to love, but also learn to let others love us by allowing them to show up, to serve us, and support us!  And really it is in needing that we may more accurately grasp how to help and serve others.